Arranged+Marriages+in+India

=**India**=

**Introduction to Arranged Marriages in India**
toc The tradition of arranged marriage in India is grounded in religious texts and tenets. Ancient Hindu scripts have espoused favor for the sacred practice of arranged marriage for centuries, resulting in its long and well-documented history. As the country’s predominant religion, Hinduism supports arranged marriage as a vital component in the successful meshing of families and cultural traditions.

Hinduism in India functions within the caste system, which delineates groups of people occupationally and according to the caste they inherit from ancestral lineage. There are four main castes (varnas) that exist and within them are various subcastes known as jati. The main castes include Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas, and Shudras and the hierarchical status of these are listed from most to least respectively (Dhar, 2013). The caste uses divisions of labor to uphold a hierarchy of privilege, status, and socialization. In relation to arranged marriage, the caste system serves as a sort of social filter, only those who belong within the same caste can gain the approval needed to marry one another (Dhar, 2013). Although there are many qualifiers that determine a suitable partner, the caste in which someone belongs is of utmost importance. Those who pursue an intercaste marriage are typically subjected to a range of family and social disapproval including shaming and shunning (Dhar, 2013). Religion and caste are only two of several vital considerations to be had when selecting a future spouse. As such, the aid of parents, family members, respected cultural figures, and professional matchmakers with excellent reputations are often enlisted to weigh in on the tedious process of partnering India’s marriageable youth.

**Functions of Arranged Marriages in India**
The primary functions of arranged marriage in India include maintaining the social system, preserving ancestral lineage and religion, strengthening one’s kinship group, extending family property and wealth via dowry, and creating lasting and mutually beneficial bonds (Dhar, 2013). In order to ensure all of these functions are being fulfilled, parents, family members, and trusted professional matchmakers assume roles as decision makers by conversing with other families who have marriageable children, reviewing potential suitor profiles, and determining if a compatible and beneficial match can be made.



As a collectivist culture, the needs and benefits of the groups of belonging are expected to come before those of the individual. Perpetuating customs such as keeping parents and family members highly involved in partner selection allows for the group to maintain its harmony and security. Parents, family members, respected adults, and professional matchmakers are seen as the most qualified people to select a spouse for someone of marriageable age because they have a thorough understanding of who the marriageable person is and who that person would be most compatible with. India's youth consider this involvement from parents and other adults to be an honor and display of enduring love. It is commonly believed by elders, parents, and their children that young unmarried adults are simply too immature and impulsive to make sound decisions about a marriage, and so children are taught to respect the love and guidance offered by their parents and collective group (Fish, 2010).

**Current Practices**
India’s independence and growing receptivity to new socioeconomic trends worldwide has led to some significant changes in the traditional customs that once dictated the processes of arranging marriages from start to finish. Parents and matchmakers hold less control, marriageable young adults actively engage with potential partners more frequently and without as much supervision, and the practical and social functions of arranged marriage are not relied upon with nearly as much emphasis (Ghule, Balaiah, & Joshi, 2007). However, this is not to say forms of arranged marriage no longer exist. Semi-arranged marriages have become a new norm in India as shared responsibility between parents and their marriageable children in partner selection has resulted in a lot of success.

**Western Influence and Semi-Arranged Marriages**
Prior to its independence, India’s cultural views on marriage and intimacy were heavily influenced by the conservative British Empire (Bhugra, Mehra, de Silva, & Bhintade, 2007). Patriarchal beliefs held power and taboo subjects such as premarital sex and homosexuality were not openly discussed or tolerated. Once independence was gained in 1947, Western culture began spreading more rapidly throughout India and resulted in a shifted view of marriage and love.

Delayed age of marriage and childbearing as well as an adamant push for higher education among women in the West have translated into similar observances in India’s young marriageable populations. Foundations of partnerships have became increasingly focused on the affinities of love and desire, similar to the motivations for romantic relationships in the West. Holding love and desire in high esteem when making decisions about marriage is known as a love marriage and is almost always initiated by marriageable youth, never parents or matchmakers. Inter-caste marriages often become a reality when love is the driving force of a relationship which poses many threats to traditional Hindu beliefs. Historically, love marriages, self-arranged marriages, and inter-caste marriages in India are considered disrespectful, defiant, unrighteous, and dangerous to society (Netting, 2010; Twamley, 2013). Love marriages, as an umbrella, become problematic for Indian families because they are not carefully planned out and considerate of the collective group; they are seen as a spontaneous and uncontrollable force that inflict group shame and sometimes result in divorce (Twamley, 2013). However, the rising number of these relationships has spurred a form of social compromise. The semi-arranged marriages that are now turning into the norm, still allow parents and families to be involved in the decision making with dating, engagement, and marriage, but marriageable young adults are simultaneously involved as well. This flexibility has made it possible for young adults to socialize with the opposite sex and date casually without as much supervision while still respecting their family's input and the traditions and customs that are highly valued.

**Partner Selection**
While parents and matchmakers still hold a high amount of influence when it comes to finding suitable partners and pursuing an engagement and later marriage for their children/clients, India’s marriageable youth now command more say in the selection of their spouse (Ghule et al., 2007). The advancement of technology has created various opportunities for individuals to meet, converse, and develop deep relationships through social media, cell phones, email, and dating sites (Ghule et al., 2007). Biodata, personal resumes used to list important qualifying information, can be instantaneously shared with eligible suitors and their families for a quick and efficient take on the dating and engagement process.



Profiles on dating sites such as shaadi.com, IndianCupid, fropper, IndiaMatch, and Bharatmatrimony allow members a chance to fill out traditional components such as caste and religion while including opportunities to provide details such as hobbies, likes/dislikes, movie genre preferences, and favorite sports teams. Another advantage of using modern technology to scope out partners is the ability to see what one another looks like prior to meeting for the first time. Physical beauty is an especially important factor to consider when selecting an Indian bride. Fair skin tone is highly desired as well as a slim figure, feminine features such as small hands and feet, and an overall attractive face. Other qualities that are valued and carefully contemplated include compatible horoscopes, age (21+ for men, 18+ for women, but no older than 30 for either), physical appearance, education level, profession, income, and the ability for a man to support not only a spouse and their own children, but also aging parents and extended family members if need be.

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**Sexuality in Arranged Marriages in India**
As a patriarchal culture, India's overarching sexological worldview supports the sexual pleasures of men more so than women (McDougall, Edmeades, & Krishnan, 2011). Women in family-arranged marriages tend to feel they have little agency over their sexuality and are less likely to communicate with their husbands about the intimacies of marriage than women who are in self or semi-arranged marriages (Jejeebhoy, Santhya, Acharya, & Prakash, 2013). Self and semi-arranged marriages are often seen as an egalitarian partnership where both partners experience a general sense of comfort in communicating with their spouse about sexuality. The rise in these partnerships may, in the future, bring to light the mutual benefits of having a marriage that grants both members equality and security in their sexualities.

India's youth continue to reflect a patriarchy-driven perception of sexuality by perpetuating many harmful stereotypes such as girls must be virgins until marriage otherwise they are dirty, men must be controlling during sex, and sex with more than one partner in a lifetime is wrong and immoral (Ghule et al., 2007). There is also acknowledgement, by India's youth, that an increase in thorough sexuality education is needed so that a better understanding of bodies, sexual relationships, and communication within relationships can be gained (Ghule et al., 2007).

** References **

 * Bhugra, D., Mehra, R., de Silva, P., & Bhintade, V. R. (2007). Sexual attitudes and practices in North India: A qualitative study. //Sexual & Relationship Therapy, 22//(1), 83-90.
 * Dhar, R. L. (2013). Intercaste marriage: A study from the Indian context. //Marriage & Family Review, 49//(1), 1-25.
 * Fish, M., J. (2010). Arranged marriages: Billions of people live in arranged marriages. Why? //Psychology Today.// Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/looking-in-the-cultural-mirror/201004/arranged-marriages.
 * Ghule, M., Balaiah, D., Joshi, B. (2007). Attitudes towards premarital sex among rural college youth in Maharashta, India. // Sex Cult, 11 //, 1-17.
 * Jejeebhoy, S. J., Santhya, K. G., Acharya, R., & Prakash, R. (2013). Marriage-related decision-making and young women’s marital relations and agency. //Asian Population Studies, 9//(1), 28-49.
 * McDougall, J., Edmeades, J., & Krishnan, S. (2011). (Not) talking about sex: couple reports of sexual discussion and expression in Bangalore, India. //Culture,// // Health & Sexuality, 13 // (2), 141-156.
 * Netting, N.S. (2010). Marital ideoscapes in 21st-century India: Creative combinations of love and responsibility. // Journal of Family Issues, 31 // (36), 707-726.
 * Twamley, K. (2013). Love and desire amongst middle-class Gujarati Indians in the UK and India. //Culture, Health & Sexuality, 15//(3), 327-340.

//By: Jade Burt//