Rape+Fantasies+in+BDSM

=Introduction= BDSM is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide range of erotic and/or sexual activities involving bondage and discipline (BD), domination and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM) (Ambrosio, n.d.; Williams & williams, 2011). Within BDSM, activity scenarios and the settings in which they occur are known as “scenes.”

In BDSM, participants may engage in enactments of fantasy where they consensually enact, create, or mimic rape in some manner (Ambrosio, n.d.; Shadowborne, 1998). These scenarios, or scenes, constitute a type of role play. It is important to note that these scenes are all consensual, and are pre-negotiated based on the needs, wants, and desires of all participants. One important distinction between rape fantasies, including role play scenarios about rape, and actual rape is that rape fantasies are scripted by the individual (or "victim"), where as rapes are not scripted by the victim (Strokes, 2008).

toc **Terms and Definitions** There are a variety of terms used within the BDSM and kink communities in reference to the performance and participation in rape fantasies, including: These terms and ideas often overlap or have varying definitions depending on a specific community or an individual's preferences.
 * Consensual non-consent
 * Edge play
 * Rape play
 * Forced sex

Consensual Non-consent
In consensual non-consent, the submissive (or bottom) gives permission for the dominant (or top) to transgress previously established guidelines of consent for the duration of a scene (non-famous Lauren, 1998). The dominant remains in control of the scene, regardless of what the submissive says, as long as the scene goes according to plan. This type of play, where the submissive gives up their consent, requires a great deal of trust between participants, as well as communication and negotiation prior to the scene. It is up to the dominant(s) to understand their submissive's reactions and behavior and to know how far to push the submissive and when to back off or stop.

Edge Play
Edge play is considered to be activity within BDSM and kink that is on the "edge" of the "safe, sane, and consensual" mantra espoused by those who participate in BDSM (White, 2012). These activities push and/or break an individual's limits on what is "okay." They can be activities that "edge" an individual's personal limits, regardless of how much or little others would consider the activity to be "edgy," or they can be activities that push the boundaries on topics that are typically taboo in many cultures and societies. Edge play can encompass a variety of topics and activities, including blood play, scat play, temporary play piercings, fire play, gun and knife play, race play, age play, and rape play (Ortmann & Sprott, 2013; White, 2012). What is "edgy" can depend on an individual's social circle and perceptions, and can vary and change across cultures and subcultures, due to education, and as an individual's interests and sexological worldview change over time (White, 2012). Edge play is controversial within the BDSM and kink communities because it pushes at or past the boundaries of what activities are generally considered safe, sane, and consensual, and because some topics squick people out (make them physically and/or psychologically uncomfortable) (Ortmann & Sprott, 2013).

Rape Play
Rape play is a specific subset of edge play. Rape play scenes are all consensual, pre-arranged, and involve significant negotiation and discussion prior to the event (non-famous Lauren, 1998). All rape play involves activities that mimic some of the feelings and aspects of rape, and most include aspects of overpowerment. However, scenes can involve varying degrees of realism. For some individuals, being held down in bed and gently overpowered by their partner is enough to constitute rape play. Other individuals go to great lengths to create rape play scenes involving abductions, uncertainty about timing (on the submissive's part), novel locations, and/or strangers (non-famous Lauren, 1998; Sexperts, 2009). Dominants may arrange for other individuals within the BDSM community to assist in the surprise abduction and rape of their submissive (non-famous Lauren, 1998). It is important to remember, however, that all of these scenes are pre-arranged and consensual (Guest author, 2010; Sexperts, 2009).

Forced Sex
Forced sex is often understood to be the middle ground between getting held down during sex and "stranger rape play" (non-famous Lauren, 1998). Many individuals prefer the safety of knowing who is participating in the scene, when it is happening, and that the scene is a scene, so that they are not terrified for their safety during the duration of the scene. They may enjoy the feelings and aspects that mimic rape, including novel locations, mock abuductions, and the feelings of overpowerment, but want to know who is perpetuating the rape (versus the stranger play in some varieties of rape play). =Prevalence=

According to [|Fetlife], the "Facebook" for kinky individuals, consensual non-consent and edge play are relatively common interests. On Fetlife, users can select and list "fetishes" (BDSM or kinky interests) on their profiles to advertise their interests (Bitlove, Inc, 2013). As of December 4, 2013, 71,823 individuals are "into or curious about" "consensual nonconsent" and individuals are "into or curious about edge play." In contrast, over 277,000 individuals are "into or curious about spanking" and over 64,000 individuals are "into or curious about flogging." There are also numerous discussion groups devoted to consensual non-consent, edge play, and other related topics. No data are available on Fetlife regarding interest levels towards "rape play," "rape fantasies," "forced sex," as the website prohibits discussions about or relating to illegal activities, including rape. =Participation=

Reasons for Participation
Individuals may participate in rape play, consensual non-consent, edge play, or forced sex for a variety of reasons. As evidenced, a fascination with rape is a common theme in media and literature, and rape play or consensual non-consent are safe ways to experience and enact these desires and fascinations (non-famous Lauren, 1998). Other individuals enjoy this type of play because acting out a rape fantasy allows for guilt avoidance (Guest Author, 2010; Strokes, 2008). Individuals who want and enjoy sex, are often made to feel guilty for those types of desires, and so pretending to be raped is a way of enjoying sex (particularly rough or forceful sex) without guilt. Similarly, rape scenes can allow individuals to fantasize about their irresistability, imagining that the individual is so irresistible that others must have sex with them (Strokes, 2008). Other people simply like the excitement involved in rape play and consensual non-consent (non-famous Lauren, 1998). They find the risk, being pushed passed their boundaries, learning about their endurance, and experiencing fear-induced-excitement in controlled scenario very appealing (Guest author, 2010; non-famous Lauren, 1998; Strokes, 2008).

Regardless of the initial motivation, all individuals, whether the "perpetrator(s)" or "victims," learn about themselves and each other as a result of the experience (non-famous Lauren, 1998). Even if the experience is not as great as the participants had hoped, learning about self and others still occurs.

As an act of healing
Some people also use rape play as a way to heal from traumatic experiences (Alt Sex Therapist, 2011; Shadowborne, 1998; Stroke, 2008). This is commonly known as "shadow play," because it involves encountering darker past experiences (the shadows) and dealing with them by creating a similar scenario that allows the individual to meet their demons head on (Alt Sex Therapist, 2011; Lady Celeste, 2000). Participating in a rape play scenario, which is structured, has been planned, and involves a trusted individual (or individuals), can allow individuals to reclaim or achieve control over the event in their minds, and thus move past the trauma. Shadow play is best done with experienced individuals (the dominant, generally), and preferably under the supervision of a therapist so that the individual can process their emotions before and after the scenario (Alt Sex Therapist, 2011). Shadow play is not suitable for all individuals; often it is based on a hunch that such a scenario may be healing. For a personal account about using "violent sex" (the author's terminology) to heal after trauma, see [|this article] (note: article contains descriptions of rape and violent sex).

Vital Considerations for Participation
Along with consent, communication is vital for rape related scenes to proceed and end well for all participants (non-famous Lauren, 1998; Sexperts, 2009). One should never assume what an individual wants in a rape scene (non-famous Lauren, 1998). All participants must discuss and negotiate their needs, wants, and desires, in order to make sure the scene to go smoothly and have the desired outcome (non-famous Lauren, 1998; Guest author, 2010). Thus, trust between the dominant/top and submissive/bottom is also vital (Guest author, 2010; non-famous Lauren, 1998; Shadowborne, 1998; White, 2012). Dominants need to know that their submissive has been transparent about their true desires and needs (including health and safety needs); submissives need to know that their dominant understands their desires and needs, and that their dominant knows them well enough to keep them physically, psychologically, and emotionally safe. Both parties should be aware of any known or potential triggers, and the dominant in particular must be very familiar with their submissive’s body language so they know when to stop the scene if necessary (Shadowborne, 1998;

White, 2012). Aftercare is essential after scenes involving consensual non-consent, rape play, or forced sex to help the submissive return from a “victim” mindset, process emotions, and recover from the endorphin high (Shadowborne, 1998; White, 2012). Participants should discuss and process the scene as well, either during or after aftercare, to talk about the positives and negative parts of the scene and continue the communication and negotiation inherent in BDSM (Alt Sex Therapist, 2011; non-famous Lauren, 1998). =Dangers= Edge play, consensual non-consent activities, rape play, and forced sex can have dangerous consequences, whether physical, psychological, or emotional (Sexperts, 2009; Shadowborne, 1998; White, 2012). Scenes may not proceed smoothly due to outside influences, medical and health conditions, unknown triggers for the participants, or various other reasons . Thus it is imperative for scene participants to do extensive planning and communication about the scene before it occurs. =References= Alt Sex Therapist. (July 4, 2011). Shadow Play. Madison Kink. Retrieved from http://madisonkink.com/shadow-play/

Ambrosio. (n.d.). Perverted vocabulary: A glossary of terms used in BDSM. Evilmonk. Retrieved from http://www.evilmonk.org/a/terms.cfm

Bitlove, Inc. (2013). Fetlife. Retrieved from https://fetlife.com/home/v4#everything

Dr. Strokes. (November 6, 2008). Anatomy of a rape fantasy. Swarthmore College Daily Gazette. Retrieved from http://daily.swarthmore.edu/2008/11/06/why-do-women-fantasy-rape/

Guest author. (April 19, 2010). Psychological aspects of consensual rape. Submissive guide. Retrieved from http://www.submissiveguide.com/2010/04/psychological-aspects-of-consensual-rape/

Lady Celeste. (2000). Shadow Play. Leather and Roses. Retrieved from http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ldycelesteshadows.htm

McClelland, M. (July 27, 2011). I’m gonna need you to fight me on this: How violent sex helped ease my PTSD. Good. Retrieved from http://www.good.is/posts/how-violent-sex-helped-ease-my-ptsd

non-famous Lauren. (1998). Out of the shadows: About BDSM, part 3 - Heavier aspects of BDSM. Sexuality.org. Retrieved from http://www.sexuality.org/authors/lauren/AboutBDSM3.html

Ortmann, D. M. & Sprott, R. A. (2013). Sexual outsiders: Understanding BDSM sexualities and communities. Maryland: Rowman & LIttlefield Publishers, Inc.

Sexperts. (January 18, 2009). Abduction + rape play. A kinkster’s guide. Retrieved from http://bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com/2009/01/abduction-rape-play.html

Shadowborne, R. (1998). Consensual rape fantasies. Leather and roses. Retrieved from http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ravenrapefantasies.htm

White, R. R. (September 20, 2012). Edgeplay isn’t your grandmother’s BDSM scene. Vice. Retrieved from http://www.vice.com/read/edgeplay-isnt-your-grandmothers-bdsm-scene

Williams, D. & williams, d. (2011). Living M/s: A book for Masters, slaves, and their relationships. Las Vegas, NV: The Nazca Plains Corporation.